2 augusti 2007

One Week to GO!

Tid publicerad på Chelsea Vital.


Just about one more week to go and it`s time to get all psychic again.

As my former psychic Madame Olga failed me miserably in the Champion`s League predictions, I decided to change psychic. It is a tough, tough world out there amongst those who peer into the future.

I did some shopping around. Honestly, you would not believe the deceit, the frauds and the promises I encountered. Some claimed that Liverpool would win their first Premiership, due to walk-overs by the other teams! Or was it a strike because some argument about the best supporters MBE, MotM or whatever it was.

I`ll never try an internet psychic again; they wanted me to send naked pictures…! I`m not a cook or chef. Don`t get that; that would probably hurt their eyes beyond repair. JK Rowling would have material for both magic and ghost stories for the rest of her life if she trawled the psychic net. Some had Hogwart-names like nozzy or noddy and such. Tarot, fish entrails, chicken heads, chips, dices and one, I swear promised to give me a reading from a whiskey glass. If I sent a bottle of single malt!

Undaunted I went my way and chose Mademoiselle Vera. Not for her prediction talents, as we do not yet know anything of those. I simply made the choice due to the main criteria as any man would, her looks. Oh-la-la.

After some interesting, I might say, intriguing moves, numbers and strange words, huffs, and puffs in languages not very often used, this is what she came up with.

So place your bets accordingly lads. For some we will have to wait a moment, to see how good Mademoiselle Vera really is. Meanwhile I`ll try to ask her out for dinner to see whoever she is. No fish though. Wish me luck.

Community Shield, she kept calling it that charity thing; Chelsea over Manchester United. A goal by a Frenchman!

First record broken Chelsea will pulverize the old record of home games undefeated, as according to Mademoiselle Vera - we will still be undefeated after this season at Stamford Bridge, which I interpreted as an easy win over Birmingham and a nice season after.

The Drink Cup. (I guess she meant soft drinks, milk or beer or whatever the cup is named after this season) West Ham over Liverpool. (Yes, I wondered about that one to.)

The English Premiership League: Chelsea by 5 points. She picked the positions of all 20 clubs but more of that later!

The FA Cup Manchester United over Chelsea on penalties. (I hate shoot outs).

The Champion`s League It`s Chelsea over Barcelona. Easy win with 3 goals.

The Golden Boot It`s a tie between Didier Drogba, Andriy Shevchenko and Frank Lampard at 18 goals. Lampard will make 24 in all competitions, breaking all records for a midfielder.

Clean Sheets Pepe Reina and Petr Cech will go neck-a-neck to nine games. Then Carragher scores an own goal with a deflection and Cech goes on to break his own record.

Most goals scored Chelsea (after all that must have been easy as we have been among the top scorers the last three seasons in Europe).

Most bad press Chelsea (well, that was a no-brainer you don`t need a psychic to tell you that).

Most fired manager José Mourinho will be fired 30 times before the season is over (in the press). He and Roman will have a public fist fight, at a children`s party with oversized gloves.

Clubs to be bought It`s Arsenal. It will also be a surprise, non-English buyer that outsmarts Bernie Ecclestone (was he not supposed to be a Chelsea fan?) and has more money than Stan Kroenke.

Chelsea players to play in national teams Everyone but Glen Johnson, Carlo Cudicini and Hilario and the physio guy. The physio guy was very annoyed about that.

Worst fans visiting Vital Chelsea All Mademoiselle Vera wanted to say was that they were foul, repetitive and had nothing new to say. And she said something about white, witless and disappointed.

Most abusive visitors to Vital Chelsea Mademoiselle Vera refused to tell, but she blushed after doing a reading on the subject.

The Final Premiership table 1/ Chelsea, 2/ Manchester United 3/ Tottenham, 4/ Liverpool, 5/ Newcastle, 6/ Arsenal, 7/ Bolton, 8/ Portsmouth, 9/ Manchester City, 10/ Everton, 11/ Blackburn, 12/ Middlesbrough, 13/ West Ham, 14/ Wigan, 15/ Reading, 16/ Aston Villa, 17/ Sunderland, 18/ Fulham, 19/ Birmingham, 20/ Derby

So, whip out your own psychics, gnomes, trolls or whatever and challenge Mademoiselle Vera (oh-la-la).

Good luck.

PS - Personally do I not agree at all with Mademoiselle Vera. There is no way that we will not win the quadruple this year.



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